Facing Forward in 2013

New Year's Eve December 31, 2011

It's December 27 and we've been creeping closer and closer to the New Year.  I survived the December 21 apocalypse and the Christmas holiday without a scratch.  This year has been a wild ride.  Many changes have happened in my life and I feel like 2013 will be a continuation of this trend.  It has been a year of spiritual growth.  I went through many events that could have thrown me off kilter, but I feel like I have become more grounded, more "calm and centered" as my friend Keysa would say.  The overarching theme for the year of 2012 was my devouring of books, blogs, and webinars by life coaches, spiritual leaders, philosphers, wayfinders, team members and healers such as Martha Beck, Kyle Cease, Regena Thomashaur, Kitty Cavalier, Byron Katie, Oprah, Tama Kieves, Lissa Rankin, Amy Ahlers, Lisa Nichols, Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson and Iyanla Vanzant.  I feel like 2012 was a year of focusing on my life's purpose and my calling in life.  I have become more clear on who I am and how I want to be in this life.  It has been a year of recognizing that it's not what happens to us, in fact our circumstances have nothing at all to do with the kind of life we have.  Instead it is our reaction, what story we choose to believe about it, how we react and how we choose to feel about the event.
2012 in review:

My Sister and I Smize

My 2012 began with a bang because my little sister, Anna, still lived with me.  She brought some energy and change into my life when she moved in with my husband and I in November 2011 and her energy and spirit were drove me full speed ahead into the new year.  We hiked and danced and fruit ninja ed and ate and dressed up and took the doggies for long walks.  Nathan even started the new year off with a couple of hikes with us.  January I also joined Crossfit Kailua and the amount of strength that I have gained over the year with the encouragement of my workout buddy Keysa (and Anna before she left), and my coaches is quite impressive, since I only workout twice a week with supplemental weekend hikes.  I started a paleo challenge in March and actually won 2nd place.  And Keysa won 3rd!  Awesome.

But in the spring time Anna moved away.  Sadness!  Seriously, very sad.  She moved on to South Carolina, but I'm hoping she hates it so much she'll move back here for a while.  We'll see.

At some point I began to watch reruns of Oprah's Lifeclass.  Those are life changers, holy moly!  Seriously, I began to have some major moments of clarity and some momentous gaining of perspective over my life.  It sent me scrambling for books and blogs by her guests starting with Iyanla Vanzant, who I love.  The perspective I gained from these classes I think helped me through starting at a new location at my job.  It was a tough transition, the culture of the school is very different than what I was used to.  It was difficult to manage the micromanagement, but I was able to stay calm without dissolving into tears.  I was able to step back and think before I agreed (or disagreed) to any commands given.

Hiking with my Best Friends

In October I took a life changing class called "Finding Your Calling" with Lissa Rankin, Martha Beck and Amy Ahlers.  It was the first time I have ever paid for a class by a "life coach."  It was amazing, intense and life-altering.  Did I mention it changed my life?  I became a part of an inspiring group of healers and entrepreneurs that I continue to keep in touch with.  A bazillion brilliant statements were made during these classes and I keep learning more and more as I go back and listen to the recordings.  The main thing is that I began to believe in myself.  Not the type of excitement that amps you up while the infomercial is playing but fades when it's over.  They kind that you feel in your bones, your gut, your heart.  I began to see and hear and feel what I want out of life.  Not the superficial things.  What I really want.  How I want to feel day to day, what kind of changes I want to make in the world.  What I want my legacy to be, what I want written on my tombstone.  The real stuff.  How I want you to remember me.  Ooh, it gives me chills all over again just thinking about it.

Sullivan Christmas Group Hug

So from this class I've had some real perspective shifts.  When I got pulled over speeding on H3, I totally got to enjoy the whole thing.  I got to look the police officer in the eye and thank him for doing his job.  I got to live through bouncing multiple checks all at the same time due to a mistake I made, and take a deep breath and not freak out.  And it was okay.  I paid some late fees.  The world did not end.  My dog got pancreatitis and lay next to me shivering, wanting me to fix his pain.  I didn't freak out.  I held him, I took him to the vet.  I got him his meds.  And I got to stay calm and help him instead of being anxious and scared and angry.  And yesterday, when my dear friend's cat died I didn't run away.  I was freaked out, but I stayed with him while he took his last breath and talked to my friend and brushed him with his favorite brush.  It was the saddest thing I've ever witnessed, he was a great cat, an old cat and he helped my friend through some really hard times.  But I didn't run away and hide, and I didn't freak out.  I stayed with him and tried to stay calm so it would be easier on him.

Warrior Dash, 2012

During the "Finding Your Calling" class Martha Beck walked us through a guided meditation that has helped me immensely in times like this.  You start out standing in a hurricane, watching the wind and waves and destruction happen.  Then you become just a speck of consciousness, a being that can watch, hear and sense the destruction but not be affected by it.  The wind and waves and rain go through you and you are untouched.  Then you drop down a rope into the ocean and you follow it down into the churning waves, and deeper, deeper and the water gets calmer and quieter as you go down.  All the way to the bottom where it is silent, so quiet that whales communicate to each other across miles at this depth.  And here you anchor your rope.  Your consciousness is still above water in the intense energy that is a hurricane and at the same time you are anchored in this peaceful, calm depth of ocean.  At any time you can grab onto this rope to ground yourself, to remind yourself that there is a part of you that is always calm and peaceful.  I mentally grab onto this rope often.  It might be the lesson of the year for me.

Swamp Romp, 2012

Parkour!

Finally, this morning I read a chapter of The Fire Starter Sessions, by Danielle Laporte.  Session 5, Facing Forward.  It talks about being "stuck in the past and chronically complaining about our present."  It struck a chord for me as I look towards the New Year's celebration in a couple of days and I consider what my resolution should be.  And I think Facing Forward might be my theme for 2013.  To stop getting stuck in the past.  To tell my stories from a place of love, learning and humor.  And to spend most of my time facing the present, what I do have and how I can build on that.  What my current obstacles are and how I can get past them.  How I can live every day of this year striving to feel Powerful, Energized, Connected, Clear and Free, my "Core Desired Feelings" (another Danielle Laporte concept).  Every day looking forward.

In the comments, please leave your thoughts on what your resolutions might be this coming year as well as adding any names of Spiritual and Life Leaders I may have missed in the above paragraphs.

Reconnect with the World

Another tragedy today, a 20 year old man takes the life of his mother, of 25 children and staff at a school and his own life.  When tragedies like this occur, it is so utterly confusing.  What do we do?  Often what we choose is to watch the news replay the story over and over, looking for ways that we can explain what happened.  Why that man?  Why that school?  Why, why, why?  We listen to experts rehash the story, draw out the situation, walk us through the scenario step by step.  They interview the families and friends and bystanders to get another viewpoint.  They begin to run out of ways to tell the story and they search for more experts to talk about how bad our schools are, how lonely our children, how this generation is worse than previous and then the gun law talks will begin.  The heated arguments about whether we should get the guns off the streets or whether we should give everyone guns.
And yet we haven't solved the problem have we?  This is the same story told many times before.  Different schools, different children, different families.  I am choosing to do something different this time.  I can't watch the news.  Something about watching the reporters rehash the story one more time makes me feel dirty.  Like I am feeding some kind of hunger that my ego has.  It feeds the worry.  It feeds the depression.  It feeds the voice that tells me over and over that there is not enough.  Never enough.  Not enough love, money, food, friends, stuff.  It tells me that the world is a scary, crazy, dangerous place.  That I should trust no one.  That I shouldn't leave my house.  That voice is wrong.
This time I choose to ignore that voice.  I choose to honor these children and the staff and their families by challenging myself to begin to make a positive change in the world.  There is enough.  There is enough love, money, food, friends, stuff.  There is more than enough for everyone, there is an overflowing abundance if we would just stop hoarding it.  If we could connect more with others and begin to rebuild trust.  To prove to all of us that that 20 year old man was wrong.  There is always a better option than causing death and destruction.  There is always another choice.  We need to show our families, our loved ones, our friends and most especially our children that we are not alone.  They need to see that there is always an open heart to turn to.  We are out here.  I am here.  You are not alone.

My challenge is to end 2012 with a practice in kindness.  The rules:
Every day from now until the December 31, you are to make a connection with someone new.  It could be someone new that you meet that day or it could be someone you have previously walked by without acknowledgement, like a neighbor, or a fellow employee.  Maybe the Starbucks barista.  All you have to do is look that person in the eyes, this is important, look them in the eyes and do your best to smile a smile that goes all the way to your eyes.  That can be enough, but to take it further, ask for their name.  And say it out loud.  Shake their hand if you're brave.  And report it back here or on Facebook.  It's such a small thing that you can do to begin to heal this world.  We have become so disconnected with each other, but that does not have to be permanent.  Let's start this together.
I am holding the children and families in my heart.  I am sending love and caring and kindness.  I cannot ease their pain today, but I can be there for someone else who is in need.