Meditation. I grew up in the Catholic church. I know what it's like to sit still for a very long time without moving, sitting up straight, asking for guidance. I am a child of the United States school system. I have been told throughout my life to sit still and basically, shut up. I have been poked by my mom to stop fidgeting, yelled at and scolded by my teachers that I need to get back into cross-legged position with the rest of the class. They can do it, why can't you? You can see why the prospect of choosing, of my own volition, in my own free time, to sit still for 20 minutes at a time without moving, praying or simply "not thinking" would make me want to run away screaming in terror. I am a mover, a fidgeter, a do-er, a multi-tasker. I don't sit well.
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| Cute kid, bored with sitting. |
So why try? People I know, respect, and love recommended it. They gave very good reasons for it like feeling grounded, calmer, more centered, more loving, and peaceful. These things sound great! Especially when your normal brain activity looks like a pinball machine. The prospect of getting this under control, something that I'm generally only able to achieve when I am hyper-focused on an activity (sewing) or participating in some form of intense exercise. I don't even like to play video games. I get distracted.
I have had every intention of having a consistent meditation practice for probably the last 3 years. Possibly more. There have been many barriers to my lack of follow-through. The biggest problem is that I had some misconceptions about meditation that held me back. Here are some of the common ones and the truth I have discovered over time.
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| Don't think about this elephant!! |
The truth is, there may be some people who can clear their minds. Great for them. All the more power to you. I won't say I can't, because I don't like to limit myself to possibilities, but I'd say the likelihood of me getting hit by lightning or winning the lottery are just as good. Instead, researching meditation, I discovered Guided Meditation and Mindfulness Meditation. If you are ED (Easily Distracted) like I am, than these are for you.
Guided Meditation. Listening to the right Guided Meditation is great. Plug in your headset, find a website that offers guided meditations and get started. A lovely voice (if you can't stand the voice of the meditation, find a new one, there's bazillions of them out there) will walk you through a meditation and tell you what to think about. They tell you what you can think about and this is quite liberating.
Mindfulness Meditation. Mindfulness meditation took a bit more practice. Mindfulness meditation can be done listening to someone, or you can do it on your own. There are some guided meditations that will walk you through it, and now that I've done it often enough, I can run my own rodeo. I didn't realize, growing up, that my exercise was a meditation for me. When you are working out really hard, you have to have your full attention on that thing. If you are playing basketball and thinking about your test tomorrow, you will likely not play well. When you have your full attention on your movements, your next play, the feel of the ball, your opponent, you are fully in the present moment. And this is what mindfulness meditation is all about. It is doing something with your full attention. It can be done with anything. One of my first introductions to this type of exercise was simply eating a raisin. That's it. But eating it slowly, first studying it in the palm of my hand, smelling it, feeling it. Then slowly tasting it, squishing it in my mouth, moving it around, feeling the texture and putting my mind on the flavors. Sounds funny, but it puts you in a very centered, present state of mind. Now I try to do this often with whatever I'm doing. Crossfit, writing an assessment, talking to a student, writing this blog, walking my dogs, journaling, dinner with friends, cooking, eating, driving, sex, everything. And it makes every one of these activities way more enjoyable.
I highly recommend giving it a try.
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| Lotus Position |
Above I talked about Guided Meditation and Mindfulness Meditation. Mindfulness Meditation is one example of some of the possibilities of moving around when you meditate. But what about a guided meditation where they tell you to find a comfortable position and don't freaking move? Well, I've learned a little secret in life. I can do whatever I want. It's true. Now this has greater meaning in my life, like, not limiting myself in my beliefs, figuring out what I truly want, and going for it. But it also has great meaning in the little decisions in my life. I no longer make decisions based on what I am supposed to do, rather I look at the result I would like to achieve. If I'm deciding whether or not I'm going to work out, or eat a piece of cake, or how I'm going to meditate I think about the result that each action is going to bring. If I do work out I will feel proud of myself, stronger and calmer, but tired. If I don't work out I will feel rested, will have time to do something else, but may not be as calm and relaxed and strong. Both are great options. It just depends on what I'd like in that moment. Well, that was a bit of a sidetracked point, what I was getting to was that I can meditate in whatever way is going to get me the result of me being calmer, more peaceful and more, well, meditated.
How I meditate when I'm just sitting. In the mornings these days I get up in the morning, do a bit of journaling and sit on my meditation cushion. I light incense because I like it. For a long time I meditated without and that's just as nice. I usually find a guided meditation to listen to on my ipad and settle in. I usually start in a cross-legged position with my back straight, because I would like to strengthen my posture. It also hurts my back if I do a super-slouch through the whole thing. Often, the straight back position starts to hurt, because my back is weak. I used to berate myself for this! You should be able to sit up straight, Dummy! Then I realized that berating myself for slouching was dumber than not sitting straight. So I forgive myself, shift to a more comfortable position and continue meditating. Guess what? It's okay. It works just fine. Sometimes I will slouch a bit. Or stretch my back. Or uncross my legs when my foot falls asleep. Or pet my dog when he comes to sit in my lap. Or lean back on the wall. This morning I felt the call to rock a little bit, because I wanted to keep my back straight and my back was a little sore. So I did this (possibly ridiculous looking, but who cares?) slight rhythmic rocking back and forth. It felt good, and I was able to continue meditating comfortable. That is the result I was looking for, so I did it. Then I patted myself on the back and wrote this blog about it.
So, in summary, if your vision of a transcendent yogi wearing robes sitting on the edge of a waterfall in total transcendent mindlessness is keeping you from trying meditation, challenge those notions and give a different kind of meditation a try. Those of us who are ED need a different kind of meditation than Buddhist monks. And maybe your dream of being able to sit peacefully in the lotus pose for hours at a time at a yoga retreat will come true, but start where you are. And if that includes a slouchy, fidgety, guided meditation on your headset, or a game of soccer, that is an awesome start. Congratulate yourself for trying something new and taking a step towards living in the present moment and having the ability to calm and center yourself at any time. It will be truly worth your time.
Some resources I have found over time:
Martha Beck's "The Ideal Day Exercise"
Have you let limiting beliefs hold you back? Do you have tips for others that have helped you? Let me know in the comments section!
